YOU’LL LEARN WHY HOW WHAT Why otherwise normal people behave terribly What are the essentials of communication How to deal with the most common difficult people
PEOPLE FOCUS TASK FOCUS PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE GET APPRECIATED GET ALONG GET IT RIGHT GET IT DONE AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE-FOCUS PASSIVE PEOPLE-FOCUS AGGRESSIVE TASK-FOCUS PASSIVE TASK-FOCUS
PEOPLE FOCUS TASK FOCUS PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE GET APPRECIATED GET IT RIGHT GET IT DONE AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE-FOCUS PASSIVE PEOPLE-FOCUS AGGRESSIVE TASK-FOCUS PASSIVE TASK-FOCUS NORMAL ZONE GET ALONG
GET IT DONE What does everyone think about this? GET IT RIGHT GET ... Given the figures and taking into account ... Just do it! What’s next on the agenda?
GET IT DONE GET IT RIGHT GET ALONG What does everyone think about this? Given the figures and taking into account ... Just do it! What’s next on the agenda?
GET IT DONE We should do this. I’ll tell you why ... GET IT RIGHT GET ALONG GET ... What does everyone think about this? Given the figures and taking into account ... Just do it! What’s next on the agenda?
GET IT DONE GET IT RIGHT GET ALONG GET APPRECIATED We should do this. I’ll tell you why ... What does everyone think about this? Given the figures and taking into account ... Just do it! What’s next on the agenda?
GET IT DONE GET IT RIGHT GET ALONG GET APPRECIATED We should do this. I’ll tell you why ... What does everyone think about this? Given the figures and taking into account ... Just do it! What’s next on the agenda?
BLEND I’ll have what she’s having. Meet them on common ground by mirroring certain behavior COMMUNICATES LOOKS LIKE Mirrors body posture, facial expressions, gestures, vocal tempo ACHIEVES Tacit but immediate rapport
Did I understand? Did I miss anything? Confirm you got it right. Don’t assume anything. SOUNDS LIKE SUMMARIZE ACHIEVES A stronger feeling of understanding
GET APPRECIATED GET IT RIGHT GET IT DONE AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE-FOCUS PASSIVE PEOPLE-FOCUS AGGRESSIVE TASK-FOCUS PASSIVE TASK-FOCUS GET ALONG NORMAL ZONE PEOPLE FOCUS TASK FOCUS PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE
PEOPLE FOCUS TASK FOCUS PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE Nothing M aybe Yes Whiner No Nothing Think- They- Know-It- All Grenade Sniper Sniper Tank Know- It-All PERFECT IO NIST APPROVA L SEEKING ATTENTIO N GETTING CONTR O LLING GET APPRECIATED GET IT RIGHT GET IT DONE GET ALONG NORMAL ZONE
Tank PERFECT IO NIST APPROVA L SEEKING ATTENTIO N GETTING CONTR O LLING GET IT DONE Hold your ground. Be assertive. Counterattack Defend, explain or justify Shut down GOAL FOR TANKS DON’T Tanks won’t attack people they respect THE SECRET 1. Hold your ground ACTION PLAN ... SOUNDS LIKE
Tank PERFECT IO NIST APPROVA L SEEKING ATTENTIO N GETTING CONTR O LLING GET IT DONE Hold your ground. Be assertive. Counterattack Defend, explain or justify Shut down GOAL FOR TANKS DON’T Tanks won’t attack people they respect THE SECRET 1. Hold your ground 2. Interrupt the attack ACTION PLAN John SOUNDS LIKE John John John John
Tank PERFECT IO NIST APPROVA L SEEKING ATTENTIO N GETTING CONTR O LLING GET IT DONE Hold your ground. Be assertive. Counterattack Defend, explain or justify Shut down GOAL FOR TANKS DON’T Tanks won’t attack people they respect THE SECRET 1. Hold your ground 2. Interrupt the attack. 3. Quickly backtrack to their main point ACTION PLAN I hear that you have a problem with ... SOUNDS LIKE I understand that ...
Tank PERFECT IO NIST APPROVA L SEEKING ATTENTIO N GETTING CONTR O LLING GET IT DONE Hold your ground. Be assertive. Counterattack Defend, explain or justify Shut down GOAL FOR TANKS DON’T Tanks won’t attack people they respect THE SECRET 1. Hold your ground 2. Interrupt the attack. 3. Quickly backtrack to their main point 4. Aim for the bottom line ACTION PLAN I’m not willing to discuss if you are talking to me like this. When you can speak to me with respect, we’ll discuss. SOUNDS LIKE
Tank PERFECT IO NIST APPROVA L SEEKING ATTENTIO N GETTING CONTR O LLING GET IT DONE Hold your ground. Be assertive. Counterattack Defend, explain or justify Shut down GOAL FOR TANKS DON’T Tanks won’t attack people they respect THE SECRET ACTION PLAN 1. Hold your ground 2. Interrupt the attack. 3. Quickly backtrack to their main point 4. Aim for the bottom line 5. Achieve peace with honor
PERFECT IO NIST APPROVA L SEEKING ATTENTIO N GETTING CONTR O LLING TASK FOCUS PASSIVE Whiner GET IT RIGHT Form a problem-solving alliance Agree - it encourages them Disagree - they’ll repeat Solve the problem Ask them why they are complaining to you GOAL FOR WHINERS DON’T Patience, compassion, commitment THE SECRET 1. Listen for the main points ACTION PLAN
PERFECT IO NIST APPROVA L SEEKING ATTENTIO N GETTING CONTR O LLING TASK FOCUS PASSIVE Whiner GET IT RIGHT Form a problem-solving alliance Agree - it encourages them Disagree - they’ll repeat Solve the problem Ask them why they are complaining to you GOAL FOR WHINERS DON’T Patience, compassion, commitment THE SECRET 1. Listen for the main points 2. Interrupt and get specific ACTION PLAN I understand that ... And we both know ... So, what do you want?
PERFECT IO NIST APPROVA L SEEKING ATTENTIO N GETTING CONTR O LLING TASK FOCUS PASSIVE Whiner GET IT RIGHT Form a problem-solving alliance Agree - it encourages them Disagree - they’ll repeat Solve the problem Ask them why they are complaining to you GOAL FOR WHINERS DON’T Patience, compassion, commitment THE SECRET 1. Listen for the main points 2. Interrupt and get specific 3. Shift the focus to solutions ACTION PLAN What can be done about this?
PERFECT IO NIST APPROVA L SEEKING ATTENTIO N GETTING CONTR O LLING TASK FOCUS PASSIVE Whiner GET IT RIGHT Form a problem-solving alliance Agree - it encourages them Disagree - they’ll repeat Solve the problem Ask them why they are complaining to you GOAL FOR WHINERS DON’T Patience, compassion, commitment THE SECRET 1. Listen for the main points 2. Interrupt and get specific 3. Shift the focus to solutions 4. Show them the future ACTION PLAN
PERFECT IO NIST APPROVA L SEEKING ATTENTIO N GETTING CONTR O LLING TASK FOCUS PASSIVE Whiner GET IT RIGHT Form a problem-solving alliance Agree - it encourages them Disagree - they’ll repeat Solve the problem Ask them why they are complaining to you GOAL FOR WHINERS DON’T Patience, compassion, commitment THE SECRET 1. Listen for the main points 2. Interrupt and get specific 3. Shift the focus to solutions 4. Show them the future 5. Draw the line ACTION PLAN No point complaining if nothing can be done. If you have a solution, my door’s open.
PERFECT IO NIST APPROVA L SEEKING ATTENTIO N GETTING CONTR O LLING PEOPLE FOCUS PASSIVE GET ALONG Yes Get commitments you can count on Blame them Shame them GOAL FOR YES PEOPLE DON’T Summon sincere care for them THE SECRET 1. Make it safe to be honest 2. Talk honestly 3. Help them learn to plan 4. Ensure commitment 5. Strengthen the relationship ACTION PLAN